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Things to do in Southern Maine, investigated personally and described by Shannon Bryan (with only slight amounts of exaggeration, digression and references to ostraconophobia).

Chairlifts are for sissies: Full Moon Hike at Mt. Abram

Lycanthropes probably wouldn't be interested in the monthly Full Moon Hikes at Mt. Abram in Greenwood.

The Yule Goat: Making us look good - even when Santa's in town!

That Santa. He's a giver.

The man labors all year in an isolated factory in a frigid land for the simple purpose of delivering a bit of gift-wrapped glee to the children of the world.

Christmas wreaths for Christmas redemption: Wreath making with Heather Caron Floral Design

Pre-made wreaths are for the weak. Store-bought treats: an indicator of yuletide inefficacy. And fake Christmas trees?

O Come, all ye faithful (specifically those willing to wear faux beards and Santa suits): Santacon Portland

'Twas 21 days before Christmas, and all through the Old Port
Some creatures were stirring - a fat, jolly sort.

Thanksgiving? Thank Sarah Josepha Hale. And Abe.

On Thursday, thank yous will be generously passed around the Thanksgiving table like so many bowls of made-from-scratch stuffing.

Be a winner -- in bed! Rolling Slumber Bed Races in Brunswick

The distance between Earth and the Kuiper belt (a ring of debris extending between 30 and 50 AU from the Sun, like a soap ring around the bathtub of our solar system) is pretty colossal.

A battle of the brawn: GruntMatch on the East End

I'm making complaints like an old person today.

Cry me a Sunday River: Pain, injury and awesomeness at the Tough Mountain Challenge

I don't usually press my hand onto the hellishly hot stove top burner when I'm cooking dinner.

That's partly because I rarely cook dinner.

Go Fourth and Improper: Round Pond 4th of July Parade

I'm sorry to say it - and don't mean to offend any Girl Scout troops, marching bands, beauty queens, aspiring politicians or go cart-driving Shriners - but parades have lost their luster.

Waves of incoming grins: Special Surfer Night in Kennebunk

The breaking waves at Gooch's Beach in Kennebunk are a good place for surfer spotting.

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